2014. március 17., hétfő

46.) A repülés néhány szabálya (repülős mondások) - some aviator's phrases

A repülés néhány szabálya (Repülős mondások) - Pilot Rules: some Aviator's regulations in phrases & caricature & Joke - Vicc

Refreshed! to-88%-21.10.2016.+++
aboveNoHigher! Russian cyrillic text caricature IL-62? by: V. Kurtu

above: NEW! NoHigher! Pilot Rules  source: www.pinterest.com

A repülés néhány szabálya:

01.) A felszállás lehetőség. A leszállás kényszer.

02.) A botkormányt előre tolva, alattunk a házak mérete nő, hátrahúzva
pedig csökken. Huzamosan hátrahúzva tartva a kormányt, a házak
ismét nőni kezdenek.

03.) A repülés nem veszélyes, csak a lezuhanás az.

04.) Jobb lent lenni és azt kívánni, bárcsak fent lennénk, mint fordítva.

05.) Egy repülőgépen csak akkor feleslegesen sok az üzemanyag, ha
lángra kap.

06.) A gép orrán lévő légcsavar a pilótát hivatott hűteni. Ha leáll, a pilóta
rögtön izzadni kezd.

07.) Bizonytalan helyzetben tartsd a repülési magasságot. Az éggel még
soha senki nem ütközött.

08.) A "jó" leszállás az, ami után saját lábon elhagyható a gép.
A "nagyszerű" leszállások pedig azok, amelyek után a gép tovább
használható.

09.) Amennyire csak lehet, törekedjünk arra, hogy a gép hegyes vége
mindig előre álljon.

10.) Azt, hogy kerekekkel felfelé szálltál le onnan veszed észre, hogy a
rámpához csak teljes gázzal tudsz eljutni.

11.)  A túlélés valószínűsége fordítva arányos a leszállási szöggel. Minél
meredekebb szögben száll le a gép, annál kisebb az esély a túlélésre
és fordítva.

12.) Soha ne engedd a gépet leszállni olyan helyre, ahova agyilag már
öt perccel korábban meg nem érkeztél.

13.) Tartsd távol magad a felhőktől. Megbízható források szerint a
hegyek előszeretettel bujkálnak a felhők között.

14.) Törekedjél arra, hogy leszállásaid száma egyenlő= legyen a
felszállások számával (lásd az 1. pontot is).

15.) A sima leszállásnak három egyszerű szabálya van, de ezeket
sajnos senki nem ismeri.

16.) A helikopterek nem tudnak repülni, csak olyan randák, hogy a föld
egyszerűen taszítja őket.

17.) Ha az ablakból csak körbe-körbe forgó talajt látsz és az utastérből
a zűrzavar hangjai szűrődnek, akkor a dolgok nincsenek egészen
rendjén.

18.) A gravitáció nem ötlet, hanem természeti törvény, amely ellen
fellebbezésnek helye nincs.

19.) A sebesen zuhanó alumínium tárgy kontra mozdulatlan föld csatát
eddig mindig a föld nyerte meg.

20.) A józan döntőképesség alapja a tapasztalat. Sajnos a
tapasztalatot a rosszul meghozott döntések gyarapítják.

21.) Tanulj mások hibáiból. Nem fogsz annyi ideig élni, hogy valamennyit
magad is elkövessed.

22.) Légy éber! Így is lesz mindig valami, ami elkerüli a figyelmedet.

23.) Egy pilóta számára leghaszontalanabb három adat: a gép feletti
magasság, a kifutópályán megtett úthossz és a tized másodperccel
előbbi pillanat.

24.) Vannak öreg, és vannak vakmerő pilóták. De öreg vakmerő pilóták
nincsenek.

25.) Okos pilóta alagútban nem katapultál.

26.) Ősi repülős szabály: több repülőgép található az óceánban, mint tengeralattjáró az égen.

above: NEW! Survival airbrake umbrella for airmans by iconic Marilyn Monroe

Hu. text: Szlengszótár;

Íme néhány kifejezés, amit a pilóták és a légiutas-kísérők használnak egymás között.:

Blue juice (kék lé): A vécétartályban levő folyadék.
Croth watch vagy groin scan (ágyékmustra): Az utasok biztonsági öveinek ellenőrzése.

Gate lice (kaputetvek): Az emberek, akik a kapu körül gyülekeznek, hogy ők léphessenek először a gép fedélzetére.

George: A robotpilóta.

Landing lips (landoló ajkak): Azok a női utasok, akik leszállás előtt kirúzsozzák magukat.

Pax: Utasok.

Spinners (forgolódók): Azok az utasok, akik későn érkeznek, ezért forgolódva keresik a helyüket.

NEW! Hu. text: Ez a történet egy szegény szőke hölgyről szól, aki egy kis magán repülőgépen utazott, de a pilóta hirtelen elhunyt egy szívrohamban! A nő azonnal odaült a pilóta helyére, és elkezdett segélyt kérni!
 

"Mayday, Mayday, Mayday"! Hu. text: Meghalt a pilóta és én nem tudok repülőgépet vezetni! Segítségre van szükségem!
Ekkor meghall egy hangot a rádión keresztül:
Itt AZ irányítótorony, nagyon jól hallom! Ne pánikoljon, segíteni fogunk rádión keresztül, és le fogjuk tenni a gépet minden gond nélkül!     Maradjon nyugodt, minden rendben lesz, de először meg kell adnia magasságát, és a pozicióját!
A szőke hölgy válasza:
164 cm magas vagyok, és ITT ülök az első ülésen!
"Értettem" veszi vissza a beszélgetést a rádió hangja. Akkor mondja utánam: Miatyánk, ki vagy a mennyekben.

Flight Instructor Favorites
·         You don't know what you don't know.
·         Much of what you think you know is incorrect.
·         Together, we must find out why you don't know what you don't know.
·         It is practice of the right kind that makes perfect.
·         You will never do well if you stop doing better.
·         Students never fail, only teachers do.
·         A student's performance is not so much a reflection on the student, as it is on the instructor's ability to teach.
·         Learning is not a straight line up... let the teacher set the standards of performance.
·         Much of learning to fly is to unlearn preconceptions and habits.
·         The way you are first taught and learn a procedure is the way you will react in an emergency. It's important to learn right the first time.
·         Unlearning is a very necessary and difficult part of learning to fly.
·         You learn according to what you bring into the situation.
·         Being prepared for a flight saves you money by saving time.
·         Given the choice, make the safe decision.
·         If you must make a mistake, make it a new one.
·         One problem is a problem, two problems are a hazard; three problems create accidents.
·         Trusting to luck alone is not conducive to an extended flying career.
·         We progress through repeated success; we learn through our mistakes.
·         An instructors knowledge is proportional to the mistakes he's made.
·         Good habits deteriorate over time.
·         Accidents happen when you run out of experience.
·         Self instruction is the garden that raises bad habits.
·         Our failures teach us. If you want to increase your chances of success double your failure rate.
·         ... almost always. Nothing is always.
·         Luck will do for skill, but not consistently.
·         The nice thing about a mistake is the pleasure it gives others.
·         You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
·         Flying, like life, is full of precluded possibilities.
Can't do... won't do... shouldn't do...
·         What you know is not as important as what you do with it.

Why an Airplane is Better Than a Woman (or a Man).
·         Airplane skin doesn't wrinkle as badly.
·         Airplanes don't take forever to warm up.
·         Airplanes like to do it inverted.
·         It's easier to get 'trim' in an airplane.
·         You can keep an airplane from stalling.
·         Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
·         An airplane won't slap you for being a 'bush pilot.'
·         You don't always have to be on top to ride an airplane.
·         An airplane doesn't ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.
·         An airplane's thrust to weight ratio is higher.
·         You can easily leave an airplane before sunrise.
·         Airplane exhaust fumes smell better.
·         Airplanes lose weight faster.
·         An airplane does not get mad if you 'touch and go.'
·         An airplane's performance is seldom hindered by weather.
·         An airplane will not get mad if you ride someone else's airplane.
·         An airplane's cockpit is cleaner.
·         You can calculate the peak performance of an airplane.
·         An Airplane is easy to roll over.
·         You can still activate a fifty year old airplane.
·         Up to five people can ride in the cockpit of an airplane.
·         Airplane's last longer.
·         Airplane's don't droop after many years.
·         You can always tell when an airplane is going to give out.
·         An airplane moves when you tell it to.
·         An airplane will kill you quick . . . a woman takes her time.
·         An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.
·         An airplane will let you use your dip stick anytime you want.
·         Airplanes don't make you 'pull-out' to eject.
·         You can change the looks of an airplane.
·         Airplanes come with manuals.
·         A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
·         Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
·         When you put fuel into an airplane, it does not spit it out.
·         Airplanes curves never sag.
·         Airplanes last longer.
·         Airplanes don't get pregnant.
·         You can fly a airplane any time of the month.
·         Airplanes don't have parents.
·         Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
·         You can share your airplanes with your friends.
·         If your airplane makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
·         If your airplane smokes, you can do something about it.
·         Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
·         When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
·         Airplanes don't care about how many other airplane's you have.
·         Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplane's, or if you buy airplane magazines.
·         If your airplane is too loose, you can tighten it.
·         You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your airplane.
·         You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your airplane.
·         You don't have to convince your airplane that you're a pilot and that you think that all airplanes are equals.
·         If you say bad things to your airplane, you don't have to say your sorry before you can fly it again.
·         You can fly an airplane as long as you want and it won't get sore.
·         Your parents don't remain in touch with your old airplane after you dump it.
·         Airplanes always feel like going for a ride.
·         Airplanes don't insult you if you are a bad pilot.
·         It's always OK to use tie downs on your airplane.
·         Your airplane never wants a night out alone with the other airplanes.
·         Airplanes don't care if you are late.
·         You don't have to take a shower before flying your airplane.

The Greatest Lies in Aviation
·         I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.
·         Me? I've never busted minimums.
·         We will be on time, maybe even early.
·         Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
·         I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
·         I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
·         All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
·         I'm a member of the mile high club.
·         I only need glasses for reading.
·         I broke out right at minimums.
·         The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.
·         Don't worry about the weight and balance — it'll fly.
·         If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.
·         I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.
·         We shipped the part yesterday.
·         All you have to do is follow the book.
·         This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
·         We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
·         Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
·         I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
·         No need to look that up, I've got it all memorized.
·         Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn't it?
·         We'll be home by lunchtime.
·         Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.
·         I'm always glad to see the FAA.
·         We fly every day — we don't need recurrent training.
·         It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
·         I thought YOU took care of that.
·         I've got the field in sight.
·         I've got the traffic in sight.
·         Of course I know where we are.
·         I'm SURE the gear was down.

Basic Flying
1.       Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2.       Do not go near the edges of it.
3.       The edges of the air can be recognised by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Food for Thought
In days gone by, I’ve proved my worth
By zooming low across the earth.
I’ve buzzed the valleys and the mountain ridges,
I’ve dove my craft beneath the bridges.
I’ve looped and spun and rolled my wings,
I’ve sung the songs that pilots sing.
I’ve tried most stunts, it must be said,
Yet never learnt to use my head.
So here’s a toast - To you and me!
But you drink both, I’m dead...you see.

Pilot Toast
The clouds may float across the sky,
The bee may kiss the butterfly,
The sparkling wine may kiss the glass, and you my friend . . .
Farewell.
Here's to the wine,
Here's to the glass,
Here's to the girl with the pretty . . .
Teeth.

Bite into my wing and don't say anything but '2,' 'bingo,' and 'Lead, you're on fire.'
— Briefing to a novice USAF wingman: stay close, acknowledge channel changes, tell me when you're out of gas and let me know if there is something wrong with my aircraft. Otherwise, shut up.
Son, your wife's legs have more time in the air than you do.
— welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain.
Son, I've got more time sitting on the lav in this airliner than you have total time.
— welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain. Also heard as "I've got more time in the flare . . . " and "I've got more time in the bunk . . ."
Lieutenant, the missiles I've fired have more flight time than you do.
— welcome to the squadron, nugget
Throttle back son, you're not going to make the boat go any faster.
— Air Bosses on aircraft carriers to flight students on initial carrier qualifications who stay at maximum power after they have been jerked to a stop by the arresting gear.
You've got to land here son, this is where the food is.
— Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing.
Tower, <a/c call sign>, three in the breeze, over the trees, last hop for a full stop.
— Phrase U.S. Navy student pilots in Pensacola could say on their last hop - if they said it without messing up they'd get an 'above' rating on radio comms.
I ran out of altitude, airspeed and ideas all at the same time.
— When asked why he ejected. Attributed to Tony Lavier, Chuck Yeager, and just about every other well-known test pilot.

above: NEW! NoHigher! Rules for Flight - Szabályok a Repüléshez   source: Pinterest.com

above: NEW! in the Boeing B-747 "Jumbo Jet" cockpit...





above & below: NEW! NoHigher! #Flowcharts - #Folyamatábrák  source: Pinterest

above: NEW! Wooden wings - Also (Ww = cock shadows) Faszárnyak - Szintén
Hu. text: "Ha vészhelyzet áll elő a repülés során, akkor a piatárs utasok, húzzák meg az üveg vodgát amilyen gyorsan csak tudják."
To Be Continue! - Folytatás Következik!

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